Q: Can you give us a brief summary of your child’s case and where it stands now?

A: Gary was killed by police in Prince George’s County, Maryland, on November 27, 1999, just 16 days after we lost his father to metastatic bone cancer. At the time, Gary was a full-time college student working at a local nursing home. His supervisor, seeing how hard he was struggling with his father’s death, invited him to a dance at a local fire station.

That night, Gary intervened in a verbal altercation involving one of his friends and helped him safely into a car. As they prepared to leave, a police officer who came on the scene used his patrol car to block their exit, approached with his gun drawn, and confronted Gary. Witnesses report that Gary pushed the gun away from his head, prompting the officer to spin him around. At that moment, a second officer shot Gary in the chest, killing him.

The Prince George’s County State’s Attorney indicted one of the officers, charging him with involuntary manslaughter and reckless endangerment. In 2001, the officer opted for a bench trial, where a judge decided the case. Despite six days of testimony and witness accounts, the officer was acquitted on all charges, claiming, as is often heard, “I feared for my life and the life of my fellow officer.”

The second officer, who had multiple excessive force complaints, was not charged. We pursued a civil case with Johnny Cochran and Walter Blair representing us but ultimately settled for a small amount to spare Gary’s friends and loved ones the potential disappointment of another trial. This experience deeply shaped me and pushed me to become an activist fighting against police violence. Although my fight for justice is over for Gary, I continue to fight for police reform as I believe justice and accountability wins for any family is a win for all impacted families.

Q: What advice do you give to mothers (and families) pursuing justice in cases of police violence?

A: It’s crucial to connect with other impacted families and find attorneys who understand the complexities of these cases. Those who’ve experienced similar losses can guide you, helping you know what questions to ask and what steps to take.

Also, take care of yourself. Sometimes the pain can feel suffocating, and you need to do whatever helps you breathe and move forward. Whether it’s taking a day to cry, going to a spa, or just staying in your room, don’t let others dictate how you should grieve or heal—do what works for you, as long as it doesn’t harm you or others.

Q: What do you want society to know about you, Gary, and your family?

A: Gary had so much to offer the world, but his dreams and aspirations were cut short that night. He was a person of peace who leaves behind a legacy of love, joy, and hope. It breaks my heart that his life lasted only 19 years, and he has now been gone longer than he lived.

As for my family, we are committed to fighting for justice—not just for Gary but for others as well. When there’s a victory for one, it’s a victory for all.

Q: Can you share Gary’s birth story?

A: Gary’s birth was challenging because he was a very large baby and breech. The doctors tried to turn him, but he kept flipping back. Eventually, they delivered him feet first.

Even then, I could tell he was going to be someone to be reckoned with. He was one of the best children any parent could ever hope for.

Q: What was your son’s favorite thing to do?

A: Gary had so many favorite activities, but he absolutely loved performing. Whenever we hosted a party or gathering at the house, he was always the entertainment. He loved rap music and would perform as a rapper, often imitating others. In addition to performing, Gary loved to write—he filled notebooks with poems and rap songs. He even wrote little notes to me that would make me laugh. He was a jokester and prankster, he loved trolls and his room was filled with pictures of supermodel Tyra Banks. He was incredibly talented and truly the life of the party.

Q: What is your favorite memory with your child?

A: One of my favorite memories is from a trip we took to the Bahamas,  just the two of us. Gary, who I affectionately called “LG” for Little Gary, and I spent time on the beach together. We drew a heart in the sand with our names inside it.

Now, every time I visit a beach, I draw a heart with “LG” in the sand. It’s my way of keeping him close, knowing he will always be with me.

Photo courtesy of Marion Gray-Hopkins